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Hooliganís Holiday
© Jane Cassidy

My name is Willie Clinton, Iím in prison doing time,
I read the papers every day: I want to show that Iím
A patriotic citizen of this here USA,
And I want to tell you how I feel Ďbout what I read today.

I read they passed the Brady Bill to take a bite from crime
By making honest citizens wait for a little time
Before they buy a gun so they can fight off guys like me.
Well, thatíll make things easier for me when I get free.

Go ahead, Washington, make my day. Make the people easy prey.
Take their silly guns away, declare it Hooliganís Holiday.

I read they passed a law or two that says that you canít buy
More than one gun a month, Ďcause they just canít imagine why
Youíd want to buy more anyway unless you plan to run
Them up to New York City where itís hard to buy a gun.

Well, if you think itís hard to buy a gun on New York streets,
Itís not if youíve got contacts and can be kind of discreet,
And you can get machine guns if you want, and theyíve got more
Firepower than what you now canít get in a Virginia store.


Theyíre planning ammunition tax Ė now thereís a brilliant thought!
They sure canít get the tax on ammo that I havenít bought.
Me and my buddies make our own, itís much harder to trace
And itís easier than stealing it from some well-guarded place.

I read theyíre banning handguns, starting with the kind
Called ďSaturday Night SpecialsĒ, the sort that jam and bind
No self-respecting criminal would carry anyhow Ė
So that wonít bother me when Iím released from the hoosegow.


Now Iím reading someoneís introduced some crazy bill
To repeal the second amendment, but I donít guess they will,
ĎCause Congress just might be that dumb, but working folk are not.
But my job would feel safer without fear of being shot!

I hope you know the cops cannot protect you all the time.
They don't even have to. They need only solve the crime.
It doesnít matter to me what they do in Washington,
ĎCause when I get out, I know that I can always get a gun.

  • To order the recording this is on, Is That A Real Fire,
    please send $10 for tape or $14 for CD, plus $2 postage & handling
    to Jane Cassidy, PO Box 10473, Lynchburg, VA 24506
    and allow time for delivery.
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